Here are some tips on how to find perspective and a sense of balance as you prepare to work and parent within the confines of isolation.
1. Talk About Values
These unprecedented times provide an opportunity to strengthen and express our values as individuals and as families. At both work and at home, we can engage in deeper conversation about what matters most to us. At work, this may mean speaking up to connect your organization’s values to decisions about social distancing or homeworking practices. You may use this as an opportunity to be more emotionally honest – to talk about an immune-compromised member of your family, or the shifting childcare demands you are facing.
By thinking and talking about these in terms of values (rather than just how the organization needs to accommodate you), you are growing as a leader. In the same way, you can lead your family in conversations about values, as well. You can invite your children to help you identify those values that are important to your family and how this provides you with an opportunity to express them.
2. Get on The Same Page
We are all making decisions incredibly quickly in order to adjust to this new reality. To do so, we rely on our assumptions about what others want and need from us. And we probably haven’t fully communicated what we want and need from them. Given that we’ve never found ourselves in this situation before, it’s quite possible that many of these assumptions are misguided. Even in the best of times, the parents we work with often come to realize that their bosses, colleagues, friends and family often want very different things from them than what they thought.
So now is the time for clarification. For example, you might say to your manager, “Here is what I think you expect of me over the next two weeks. Do I have it right? What am I missing?” Then flip the script. Explain what you really need from them and answer their questions. The same goes for your parenting partner – don’t just operate based on old habits for who does what, when and where. Question your assumptions to get on the same page.
3. Let Go of Perfectionism
Consider this an opportunity to practise loosening your grip on these expectations. Maybe your children get a little more screen time than usual. Maybe your house is a mess behind you on camera during a video call. Maybe you rethink your expectations of the people who report to you. Look at this as a chance to re-evaluate what really matters and to let go of over-performing in less important areas. And perhaps this prioritization will be a stick you can bring with you once things return to normal.
4. Stay Connected
Social distancing does not require us to fully abandon our sense of community and support. For working parents who are fortunate enough to be able to work from home or can financially afford to take time from work, we have an opportunity to help those who may not have such opportunities (such as picking up groceries for an elderly neighbour).
Moreover, finding ways to maintain and strengthen our community bonds is a tool for feeling less isolated. So consider ways that it’s still possible to feel connected. For example, many religious organizations are offering streaming opportunities for community prayer. Set up a secure video-gaming community where your child can play with their friends without worrying about interacting with strangers.
5. Designate a Kid’s Learning Space
Just like adults, kids need a dedicated work space. Many of us don’t have space for a kids-only desk, but with a few tools you can accomplish the same thing. Grab an unused basket or tote from around the house and put in markers, pencils, a few pens, paper, and other supplies—the basket can move with your kiddo to different work stations.
Alternatively, stock up your child’s school backpack with everything they might need—iPads and headphones included—and use it to store their learning supplies. Younger kids love “typing” on an unused keyboard, especially if you set it up next to your own laptop. If you do want to buy a new desk for your child, opt for something compact and streamlined or a desk that you can reconfigure as your child grows (like the Elfa coloring table, below).
6. Use a Visual Calendar
Kids do best when they understand what’s coming, so a routine is key. And even if you don’t show your children a daily or weekly schedule, having a plan can make you feel better, too. This doesn’t mean you have to spend hours making a color-coded masterpiece, however. A simple white board can do the trick, or change it up each day with a giant sticky Post-It that outlines the day’s activities.
7. Double-Down on The Mudroom
When kids are home a lot, chaos reigns. Children will drop shoes, socks, jackets, hats, sunglasses and the like throughout the house, peeling layers off without regard for order. Stop the madness with a bit of mud room organization. The ideal space? Cubbies for each person with a place for hanging items, a drawer for gloves and hats, and a spot for shoes.
Small-space living can make this a tall task, but even if you live in a cramped apartment, try to keep order. Hooks—everywhere—are your friend, as are baskets for shoes or a compact bench. Hang smaller hooks and utility boards where tiny hands can’t reach them, but where your keys and sunglasses can be safe.
